"Letting Go" Part 5: Letting Go of Control
Welcome to Part 5 of my series on "Letting Go" - Letting Go of Control.
What do we truly have control over in this life?The answer is simple and this is something I have thought about a lot and also struggled with in the past. Some may say we truly only have control and power over ourselves. This is the case in the fact that we have input into the decisions we make and things we decide to do but other than that we really don't have control over much. I know it sounds scary but it's true. While the idea of influencing only yourself can make you feel weak, a better way to view it is as a new source of freedom. Knowing that you are the only vessel over which you have ultimate control should lighten your load of responsibilities. After all, you only have a responsibility to maintain your own life and your own problems (some of us call them "opportunities"). You can recommend, advise, suggest, and advocate. You can stress the importance of certain things and offer up stories of experience to back up your claims. However, at the end of the day, each person is responsible for their own actions. I have read that if you really wanted to know why someone did or said something you would have to go back to the beginning of time to figure out why this occurred! Imagine trying to figure that out. This alone gives good enough reason to let go of control and not worry why someone did or said something.
Some useful tips for letting go of Control in your life are:
- Admitting the obvious truth -- that you are not responsible to affect a change or correct a problem which is beyond your competency, power, authority or responsibility.
- Releasing over-responsibility -- giving permission to yourself to be free from an over responsible sense of obligation, duty or requirement to make everything "perfect" in your life and the life of others.
- No perfectionism -- allowing yourself to rid yourself trying to perfect everything and the need to control every aspect of your life so that nothing goes "wrong" in it.
- Getting rational about what you can and cannot do -- becoming realistic about what is and is not your obligation or duty to correct, change or control.
- Allowing yourself to be able to say "no" or "I can't" when faced with insurmountable problems out of your reach.
- Confessing faith in God or a Higher Power of your choice (make sure it's your choice!) -- openly declare that God or your Higher Power is stronger and a great source of power to whom you can hand over these things out of your control. I choose to trust the Universe and believe I am right where I am supposed to be at every moment and this gives me peace.
- Realistic acceptance of loss -- after fully grieving a loss admitting that there is nothing left to be done but to accept the loss and hand the loss from this point on over to your Higher Power's care and love.
- Surrender -- extensive problem brainstorming and testing alternatives with the final conclusion that you can do nothing to change the circumstances of the issue and that it would be saner and more realistic to free your energy up by surrendering and letting go of the issue and handing it over to your Higher Power.
By letting go of control in your life, you allow people, places and things to be responsible for themselves, which takes a tremendous burden off you (exhale). By freeing yourself of this huge burden, you will appreciate life more for what it is. You will have the energy and strength to pursue your own interests. You will be able to relax and have fun and enjoy your Journey!
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