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"Letting Go is not the Same as Giving Up" - Goodlife Zen

Here is a great post that fits good with my series of posts on "Letting Go". Enjoy!

Adrian

A guest post by courtney carver of be more with less

If you have ever had a hard time putting down a bad book after chapter 4, or stepping away from an ongoing obligation, even when you knew you were wasting time, you will find value in the following recommendations.

Many of us grew up with the message that winners never quit and quitters never win or that an unachieved goal equals failure. But if we really understand that letting go is not the same as giving up, or quitting, we can move forward and experience a more genuine life.

Instead of holding onto guilt, things you don’t care about, and projects that exhaust you, grab on to intuition, love and gratitude. Really think about how you want to invest your time and energy. Looking at the big picture, you only get one chance to have a great life. By choosing to live life on purpose, you can calm down, open yourself up to new opportunities and create more time and space to discover what you love.

Top ten things to let go of today

  1. Clutter – Instead of focusing on clearing the clutter from your entire house, focus on one drawer, one closet, one room, or one surface at time. Being free from clutter allows you to see what’s important in your drawers, and in your life.
  2. Obsession with numbers – Letting numbers on a scale, in your bank account or even on your google analytics dictate your mood for the day, is no way to live life on purpose. Instead of checking your weight every morning, choose one afternoon a week, or every two weeks to check your numbers. Use the numbers as markers of progress, not indicators of who you are, or how you feel.
  3. Fear of not being good enough Feeling like you don’t measure up, may have come from your childhood, or a bad relationship, but now, that feeling is just a voice in your head. It’s your voice and your life. Recognize all that you have accomplished, and all you have to give and quiet that voice, for good.
  4. A toxic relationship Holding on to someone that always brings you down, may be good for them, but not for you. The time you spend with others should inspire you, not depress you. Remember there is a difference between a friend that is going through a tough time and a toxic friendship. Once a relationship becomes damaging to the way you act, feel or think, it is time to let go.
  5. Facebook friends Today, people often assess their value by their number of “friends” or “followers”. Instead, place value on your actions and character. Go through your list of connections and decide which ones aren’t useful to you. Un-friending and un-following is not personal. Ask yourself if you are connecting with someone via social media for business or pleasure, and make sure your list is in-line with your goals and values.
  6. Regret Learn from your mistakes but don’t live in them. The choices you make every day shape your life. Looking back with more knowledge, you may have made different choices, but without a few bumps in the road or downright bad decisions, you wouldn’t be the person you are today.
  7. Bad providers In most cases, doctors, investment bankers, auto mechanics and other service providers work for you. You pay them to help you. If they aren’t helping you, or you don’t like working with them, let them go.
  8. Doing it all – Instead of doing it all, do all you really care about. Do what you energizes you and speaks to your spirit. Don’t feel pressured because you think everyone you know is doing 100 different, amazing things at once. Do what is right for you. When you redirect your energy in this way, you immediately become more effective.
  9. Resistance to change – Change brings opportunity and uncertainty. While uncertainty can cause fear, excitement and new challenges, standing still and resisting change will leave you uninspired, more fearful and closed minded and that is no way to live life on purpose!
  10. Goals that don’t fit anymore Letting go of goals and dreams can be the most challenging of all. As our lives change, we change, and things that seemed so important years ago may slowly fade away. Instead of beating yourself up for not achieving your goal, focus on your new dreams and develop goals that reflect who you are right now.

Regardless of age or circumstance, understand that letting go is not the same as giving up, and give your self permission to hold on to things that are most important. Make decisions to let go knowing that it is your voice, and your life. Just as clearing the clutter from a windowsill will help you see the light, (literally and figuratively) letting go of counter productive obligations and emotions will leave you feeling lighter and inspired to contribute time and energy to your true passions.

What is one thing you can let go of today, to live better tomorrow?

Courtney is a writer and fine art photographer. She writes about simplifying and living life on purpose at bemorewithless.com.

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Comments (2)

Jul 31, 2010
terihabsfan said...
Im going to respond to this one.. just for the sake of responding you see, not to imply that I have anything credible to say.

Regarding point 1- constant clutter is sometimes a sign of something else going on. For instance, the person could have ADD, OCD or a mental illness and sometimes they dont even know that is the reason why. Sometimes the people going to the opposite extreme suffer have a similar affliction and are in just as bad of a state. Its just that sometimes the state of someone's home reflects the state of their mind- and cannot be helped. Just saying that to promote awareness. Its often not a question of just decluttering, organizing or cleaning. Its hard to relate to if you dont experience it, but its not easy for all.

I want people to be happy and to do whatever they need to in life to make themselves happy (of course so as long as it is not causing direct harm to another individual. yes I subscribe to John Stuart Mill.) I dont care if this makes your house cluttered, or obsessively neat, you cook or dress oddly or actually use blue in your decorating scheme. lol As long as it helps you find happiness, then go for it. Only you can decide what truly makes you happy as the formula is unique for all. If it doesnt make you happy, then do what you can to change it. There is a difference as well with superficial happiness and a deep, true happiness that is soul gratifying in IMHO as well.

Too you can always hire someone to help you with maintaining the clutter. If trying to clean takes you 10 times the amount of time as another person, or trying to even consider dealing with the clutter causes you a huge amount of stress, maybe you should consider hiring someone to get help. I know its money- but if it helps you declutter your brain for a bit and gives you some peace, then the expense might be worth it.

regarding point #9, the opposite extreme can be harmful and damaging too. As in all parts of life, a happy medium usually leads to the most happiness. Though I know some who require constant change to maintain their own sense of happiness- I just hope its rewarding.

good thing you dont follow point # 5, or else I might no longer be on your friends list? lol "She insults my hockey team too much. Off the list with you!" LOL

Jul 31, 2010
terihabsfan said...
oh I forgot- clearly the person who wrote #7 doesnt live in Saint John. I am sure there are doctors. If you are lucky enough to have one, good luck getting another one if you decide you dont like the doctor. One doctor actually told me that if you 'reject' one doctor, other doctors find out and wont take you on as a new patient. Which is stupidly wrong- its the union mentality rewarding mediocrity at a ridiculously high pay scale. But the docs have you by the you know whats :| Most people in Saint John don't even have access to a doctor.

One thing I miss about the west coast is that there are walk in clinics- you don't even need a family doctor anymore- you can just go to clinics. If you have a crappy doctor, no problem- just go to the different clinics till you find one you think is doing an ok job and keep on going back to him or her. I know Saint John says they have walk in clinics- but like how chicken chow mein is supposed to actually contain chow main noodles, a walk in clinic you are actually supposed to be able to walk in to get medical services. Only being open for two hours or making you call repeated for two hours before like a radio call in prize draw just to get an appointment is not a "walk in" clinic.

Hope my posts this morning dont offend!

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